I wanted to break the silence by recommending a podcast I have really been enjoying. It’s called “Don’t Salt My Game,” and it’s all about nutrition, body positivity, and countering toxic diet culture.
The host is Laura Thomas, who is a real nutritionist and has a PhD (not a food/fitness blogger who has no idea what they are talking about). She is also a vegan, but really doesn’t shove it down your throat. Vegan nutrition does come up, which I find useful, but she makes it clear that she is an ethical vegan, not a dietary vegan, and offers advice for meat eaters as well. I really appreciate this, as there are a lot of fake vegan “nutritionists” out there that rely on pseudo science, promote veganism as the only healthy dietary option, and make us vegans seem angry and irrational!
Personally, I have been struggling with eating and body image recently. I tend to bounce between what negative coping methods I am using, and cycling between over eating/restricting is one of them. This has definitely gotten worse since I stopped cutting myself, I guess I feel the need to transfer my self-destructive behaviour somewhere.
When I was in China, I was feeling really good about food. I was trying lots of different meals out, enjoying the different flavours I could find in the supermarket and indulging in all the exotic fruit I had missed from Singapore. It was very freeing. The first two months were fine, and then I was doing yoga one day, and as I was doing a side stretch, I noticed I was being cushioned by a roll of fat that wasn’t there before. All the negative feelings came crashing back, and I could feel myself obsessing over how I looked. The last month was a struggle of restriction and over eating, and I really wasn’t enjoying the food I was eating.
Since being home, the weight that I have gained has been weighing on me, and like I said, I’ve been using over eating as a coping mechanism. But, since listening to this podcast, my perspective is starting to shift. Of course, logically, I know that size does not matter, but this podcast explains in scientific terms how size does not have any bearing on health. It explains how dieting is unsustainable, how exercise doesn’t need to be an extreme workout at the gym, and picks apart the notion that we need to be thin to be attractive. It is really refreshing to hear someone who actually knows what they are talking about, and has researched this thoroughly, when there is so much white noise in the media about fad diets and restrictive diets and clean eating trends.
If you only listen to one episode, listen to episode 45 on intuitive eating (and then binge listen to the rest of them like I did!). It is so helpful, especially if you are like me and have been stuck in disordered eating patterns for years. I definitely need to do more research into intuitive eating, it seems like the way forward.
I am also trying to embrace how my body looks. It seems so illogical that I don’t have a problem with other people having lager bodies, but when it comes to my own I can’t accept that I’m a little soft round the edges. I even find curvy women more attractive, so why can’t I apply that same standard to my own body?
I am thinking about doing an update post soon. I have a couple o ideas for posts I want to write so maybe I will start writing more regularly again? Who knows.